Bittersweet
by Colinodonewithyou
Summary: AU. No curse. All she had wanted was his love and when she finally got it, it was too late.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. No Once Upon a Time.

A/: Thanks to my bby fork and Michael for being my betas for this story J Love you guys so much!

* * *

Emma watched him with forlorn eyes. Taking a deep breath, she turned to ask one of the men if he could deliver a message to the one with his arm around a tavern girl, the one with eyes so blue they could rival the ocean. Of course she didn't tell him all of that. Simply to tell him Emma needed to speak with him. As she watched him go, a sudden dread filled her stomach. He was so close to her, so very close. He had a right to know. He was one of her closest friends. At least she felt that way towards him. She didn't want to do it, but it was necessary. She had to do this.

But she couldn't talk to him. This was a mistake.

Casting an apologetic look at him, she turned and walked away.

Away from him.

* * *

When they had first met, she was 9 and he was 11. She had snuck out of the castle to wander around when she came upon him dozing off by a stream. Attempting to sneak up on him, she tripped on a fallen branch and tumbled down to land on him. He yelped in surprise and maybe a little pain and she had flushed in embarrassment. A quick muttered apology and an introduction later and they were playing in the stream.

And that was how their friendship started.

Everyday at noon she would sneak out and meet him at the stream – _their_ stream– as he put it. They would spend all day playing pirates and searching for treasure. Emma would always return home with muddy and torn clothes – much to her mother's dismay– but she always wore a glowing smile on her face.

For three months they had their own adventures in the forest, occasionally going into town and causing havoc in their wake. Both blissfully unaware that their time would soon be coming to an end.

It wasn't until two months later she found out he had to leave town with his father. His father had wanted to leave a month beforehand, but Killian had done everything he could to prolong their inevitable departure. He hadn't wanted to go. He didn't want to be separated from Emma.

They spent their final day huddled in front of their stream until it was time for them both to go home. With a tight hug and choked goodbye, they parted ways.

She had cried all only friend was gone and she didn't know when she would see him again.

* * *

Four years passed.

She was 13. He was 15.

She continued on with her princess duties, always finding herself gazing towards the path that led to their stream. He often crossed her mind and she sometimes wondered if he thought about her too. She tried not to dwell too much on those thoughts as it tended to make her sad.

He was left to fend for himself while his fugitive father fled in the middle of the night. He found odd jobs here and there and managed to find a place to stay in an abandoned cabin in the woods. In the end he got a steady job as a blacksmiths apprentice.

* * *

Two years later.

She saw him one day when she was in town. She was 15. He was 17.

Her parents decided to let Emma venture into town as long as she took Grumpy and Red with her. She was ecstatic. Any chance she could get to escape the confines of her cage she would grasp with no hesitation.

She was wandering around the market, observing the items at each stall and chatting with the merchants. Spotting a wolf necklace at one the tables, she turned to call Red and tease her about purchasing it, but no words came out as she saw _him_ walking with bags in hand. She would never forget his face. His aquamarine eyes and shaggy black hair would forever be engraved into her memory. He appeared to be thinking about something so intently that he hadn't even seen her.

She had stood there speechless, just watching him as he walked by. Only fromsomeone bumping into her was she brought her out of her stupor. Blinking, she found herself running the way she saw him leave, shouting his name to no avail. It was too late. He was long gone.

* * *

Six years later.

She was 21. He was 23.

They bumped into each other at the tavern. She had talked Ruby into letting her accompany her on her date with Victor. She had promised to sit at the table and not bother them. Anything to get out of the castle.

He had been there drinking with his boss after a long day of work.

They had both gotten up to get another refill. They didn't notice each other at first. Only because of a passing glance did they notice each other. He studied her for a moment as she gasped. He had smirked at her and after a quick "Long time no see Princess" she had thrown her arms around him.

They found themselves back at her table with drinks in hand. She was happy to see him. He had grown into a handsome man with his vibrant blue eyes, slight stubble and soft black hair that framed his face rather nicely. She had never expected to see him again. In her mind she assumed she had already passed from his memories, but she would always cherish their time together.

She asked how he had been. He told her of his father leaving him and working for the blacksmith. She gave him a comforting pat on the hand and told him she had missed him.

He took her hand and caressed it before giving her a thankful smile. She blushed and looked down.

* * *

_"Don't be jealous lass. She's just someone from my past. An acquaintance per say. Something to pass the time by. You're much better than that spoiled princess."_

She clenched her fist as she watched silently from the doorway. She had never meant to eavesdrop or spy. It had all been unintentional. She had simply wanted to see him after a tiresome day. She knew he'd be at the tavern so she hastened over.

And she wished she hadn't come.

He sat at a table with a couple tavern girls. All fawning over him and making sure to be in contact with him someway. And why wouldn't they?

She had seen the women that graced his bed, the ones that held his arm at the tavern and flirted with him while he worked. She would never be more to him than a simple friend from the past. She had told herself that as long as he cared for her as a friend, it would be alright.

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

She had stayed frozen in the doorway, watching it all silently. The way he whispered in their ears and caressed their arms.

They had been such good friends and she was terrified of messing it up. She had thought he would at least treasure their friendship as much as she did.

She had been wrong.

So she left the tavern and passed soundlessly from his life.

* * *

Months had passed since she had last seen Killian. He never stopped by, and she avoided the tavern.

Emma stood in the garden staring at the falling snow. She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to warm her frozen body. Sighing to herself, she blew on her hands absently as she made her way back to the castle.

She missed Killian and ached to be by his side. She didn't think it would hurt this much leaving him. It wasn't friendship she had been after she thought bitterly. She wanted his love.

"Emma!"

She turned at the sound of her name to see Graham running towards her. She gave him a soft smile and waited for him to catch up to her. He grinned brightly at her as he came to stop beside her.

"It's pretty cold today huh?" He said, still sporting that bright grin.

Emma returned his smile "Yeah this winter is supposed to be a cold one." She murmured as she rubbed her hands together.

"So—" He took in an shaky breath, his eyes darting away from her, a hand raising to scratch the back of his head "I—ah–was wondering if maybe you'd wanna do something this weekend?" he stuttered, his face a vibrant scarlet shade.

Emma chuckled. He was so shy it was cute. "Saturday and Sunday I have lessons, but I should be free Saturday night if you wanna grab a drink at the tavern" She replied.

He brightened immediately and a goofy grin appeared on his face."Sure!"

"I'll see you Saturday night then." He said happily before running off.

Emma's lips curled upwards uncontrollably. He was such a sweetheart. He would make an excellent husband and father. She was well aware of his feelings for her. Unfortunately, he wasn't the one that held her heart. She wished it was him, but it wasn't.

* * *

Emma swayed nervously on her feet. Her father had requested her presence immediately.

She was worried.

Her father looked up from his desk and gaveher a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Emma! Please, take a seat sweetheart." He gestured to the chair set in front of his desk. She nodded her head and gracefully sat down.

A moment of uncomfortable silence passed. She shifted nervously and played with a lock of her hair. Her father seemed troubled.

"Emma. My little girl, your mother and I promised to never hide anything from you." He paused and spared her a glance before looking down at the papers on his desk.

She chewed on her lip and tugged on the stray ringlet of golden hair.

"As you know, Regina has resurfaced, no doubt planning on how to get us next." Charming began "There's been word that she's forming an army to come and storm the castle. Rumpelstiltskin has offered to help us…for a price. You remember Baelfire don't you?"

Emma's heart plummeted. She hoped this wasn't going where she thinks its going.

"He's about your age. It may have been a couple years since you've last seen him. He's said he will offer us his aid…if you marry his son." He saw her intake of breath and rushed to finish "But Emma, know that your mother and I won't force you to do that. We'll find another way."

Emma's stomach sank to her knees and cold dread filled its place. Her father continued to talk, but she couldn't find it in herself to listen or pay attention. She bit back a sob.

How could her father tell her this and not expect her to accept it? She had heard the town's people talk of the destructive the Evil Queen was leaving in her wake. Her parents were still trying to rebuild the kingdom over her last attack a decade ago.

And here, here she had a guaranteed way to protect everyone.

All she would have to do to protect her family is sacrifice herself.

Her eyes blurred as she stared at her fathers desk. She rubbed her eyes vigorously. She was being selfish. She hadto think of her parents and her people. They came first. She could sacrifice herself if it meant her family and subjects would be safe. After all, finding that special someone to spend your life with was a one in a billion chance. Right here was something that assured her they would be safe.

But…

* * *

Killian laughed at something the red head told him.

Just as he was about to get up, someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oi there's someone asking ferya at the door"

He turned to the man he raised a questioning brow.

"She's right-"He turned to point to the door "Wha? Where did she go? She was standing right by the door a second ago" Frowning, the man shook his head and walked off muttering about ghosts and sirens.

Raising an eyebrow at the departing man, he glanced towards the door before shrugging. It was of no consequence to him. If it had been important, the person wouldn't have left. He figured it was probably just some girl wanting to flirt with him but backing out once she saw he already had company. Shaking his head, he sat back down and winked at the tavern girl next to him before taking a sip of rum.

* * *

She had gone to her room crying that night. Graham had passed by her on her way up there. Surprised to see her in such a state, he walked her to her room and comforted her throughout the night. He didn't leave her side nor did he pry as to why she was crying. He was so considerate of her.

She had latched onto him, sobbing into his chest and he didn't mind. Just held her close, stroked her head comfortingly and murmured sweet nothings. He cracked a small smile when she raised her tear stained face to his.

"Thank you" She croaked out before breaking into another fit of sobs. She was thankful to have at least one person, watching over her even if it wasn't really the person she wanted there. Deep in her heart, she knew, she could only love like that once.

"Thank you so much Graham" She whispered before falling into a fitful slumber.

* * *

"Emma!"

She jumped slightly, startled at the yell. She'd never heard a voice so _angry_ directed at her before. Turning around, her eyes widened at the owner of the voice.

"Ki—Killian?" She questioned disbelievingly. "What are you doing here?"

She was sitting in front of _their _stream; her bare feet dipped in the water as she watched the sunset from beyond the trees. She had been contemplating the decision she made.

Blue eyes narrowed as he stared her down. "Just what were you thinking going to the tavern alone like that?! I had to find out from bloody Victor that you went home by yourself! Had I known you were there I would have walked you home lass. You know the Evil Queen's guards have been sneaking around here. They could have bloody kidnapped you! Do you have any idea how worried I was for you?" He demanded, his rage flowing off him in waves.

"I…" she trailed off, She never expected him to worry for her. Especially from what she had heard she thought bitterly.

"You what, love?" He snapped impatiently.

She flinched,more so when he called her 'love' instead of his tone of voice. Swallowing thickly, she turned back to look at the crystal water. "I thought I would just be a bother to you. I'm only a burden to you after all."

"Burden?! A Bother!? Who told you that?" He demanded icily. He wasn't that mad at her. He could never truly be mad at her. He was angry at himself.

She shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

Killian groaned and raked his fingers through his hair in irritation. He sat down beside her, almost violently, if there was such a manner of sitting.

"Emma." He had a warning tone in his voice. "What aren't you telling me? I know you're smarter than that lass"

_So much._

"Nothing, its alright Killian. I'm okay. You know you're messing up your clothes" she murmured with a quick glance at his pants.

"Is it because of the rumors about the Evil Queen starting war?"

"No. Well it's on my mind, but it's alright."

_Please leave before I start crying she pleaded silently, praying to every god out there to grant her this._

"Lass, if you need someone to talk to you know I'm here." She flinched when she felt his hand rest on her knee.

She flashed him a weak smile. She was so tired. She didn't have the strength to fight him "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with." She moved her feet about, making small splashes.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair again. It was his habit of exasperation, and no one was more exasperating to him than Emma.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Emma interrupted him. "Killian, please leave."

"What?" He looked at her with surprised eyes.

"I know you don't see me as a friend Killian." She said quietly, her eyes following some leaves going down stream. "Things have changed since we were kids. You've made that quite clear to me. I don't need you looking out for me."

"Emma!"

"I think you were right in that aspect…in the idea of our relationship. I was just…someone from your past. I have no future with you. I'm just a 'spoiled princess'."

He stiffened and looked at her with wide guilty eyes. No. She couldn't have been-she couldn't have heard. He didn't mean any of it!

"It's okay, I already heard. I know about Milah and all those tavern girls." She said patiently. "I know that you value them over me. That I was just someone to pass the time with until you found someone more interesting."

He swallowed thickly. He didn't mean a word of it. He had needed to say them. He couldn't have people saying bad things about her because of him. He treasured her more than anything else. She was never meant to hear any of that.

"No no Emma love, I didn't mean any of that." He placed his arms on her shoulders "They were all lies. I needed to say them; I couldn't let anyone talk bad about you for being with a worthless blacksmith."

She shook her head. A tiny smile flickered on her face. "You don't have to lie. I understand. It doesn't hurt anymore."

_Lie_

"You've moved on to bigger and better things and I haven't"

_And I never will_

"I'm just Emma, the spoiled princess from your past."

"No" He choked out, his throat suddenly feeling dry. "You were never that. You are so much more to me."

Taking a deep breath, she stood abruptly, dusting the dirt from the back of her clothes. Her eyes held a sad farawaylook as she turned to look behind them. Squinting his eyes at her, he looked to see what caught her attention.

A man on horse stopped at the path at the top of the slope. Killian's eyes narrowed at him as he got off the horse. The man's chocolate brown eyes lit up when they came upon Emma. He waved a hand at her beckoned her to come up. Killian saw Emma start walking past him and clenched his jaw.

His arm snapped out before she even realized he was moving. His hand clamped down on her wrist and drew her to him. He knew who he was. Baelfire. The Dark One's son.

He grit his teeth. What was he doing here and what did he want with Emma?

Baelfire gave a wary glance at him before looking at the hand holding Emma. Judging from the way he was clutching her, he obviously had an attachment as well.

"Emma?"

Emma tried to wriggle from Killian's grasp, but he held on firmly. She gave a frustrated sigh and started to chew her bottom lip.

"Why is he here?" He hissed. This was _their _spot. It stung to have Emma let another man know of _their_ special place.

"He's here to pick me up. Please let go, I have to go." She pleaded and turned sad eyes to him. She had stopped her futile struggles when she saw he wasn't loosening his grip.

"Why?"

Emma opened her mouth to speak but before she could Baelfire beat her to it.

"Because she's going to marry me."

Both eyes turned to Baelfire in surprise. Neither had noticed him make his way down to them.

"What?" Killian asked lowly, his grip unconsciously tightening on Emma's wrist.

She winced and bit back a whimper. She was probably going to have bruises.

"I said, she's going to marry me." Baelfire repeated, resting his hand on the sword attached to his side as a warning.

"Why?"

"Because we're combining our kingdoms to come together and fight against the Evil Queen" Baelfire answered nonchalantly.

Hurt blue eyes turned to tired green ones, a million questions going through his mind.

Emma swallowed again and looked down. "We need his father's help." She replied quietly.

"No there has to be another way. You can't marry him. Emma - "

No. No. She couldn't hear this from him now. She had already come to a decision. She couldn't go back now.

"There's no other choice Killian! Why does it matter to you if I marry?! I'm just a burden to you. Someone from your painful past! Someone you don't even care for anymore."

_I'm so sorry Killian_

"No, Emma. You were never. You've never—"

"That's not what you told Milah and those other girls or the people you work with."

_Please just drop it. It's better this way. _

"I was trying to protect you lass! I don't give a dam what they say about me, but I couldn't stand them spouting lies because you're friends with a worthless blacksmith like me."

"What?"

He had tried to keep a distance in trying to protect her reputation. He had heard the rumors when they started to rekindle their friendship and it pained him to have people see her the way they did. He hadn't meant to push her away like he did. He wanted her near him. He wanted to marry her and have children with her. Now he had lost her to another man.

She bit her lip as she watched him internally fight with himself. Noticing his grip slacken, she yanked her hand back and bowed her head. "It was nice to see you today Killian. I have to get going" She didn't see him wince at the dead tone in her voice.

Baelfire held his arm out for her to take and proceeded to walk up the bank with her.

Killian clenched his fist and frowned. He couldn't leave it like this. He had to have her choose him. He still had a chance. He HAD to have another chance.

"Emma!"

She paused and took a deep breath before turning around. Her eyes met his and there was silence for a few seconds before his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

"I love you."

He had never wanted to lose her, especially like this. He had only wanted to protect her. He wasn't worthy of her. She was the only person that befriended him when he was younger. She was the most important person to him. He prayed she would change her mind and run back to his arms.

Emma's breath hitched as she stilled and clenched her eyes. She drew slow breaths, fighting back her tears. His love. It was what she had wanted more than anything in the whole world. Why did he have to tell her now?

She turned away slowly, her movements agonizing as she walked away from him.

His love. Her most precious treasure. Utterly priceless, something she would cherish forever. And she would always love him. He would always be the one to hold her heart.

But it was too late.

She was leaving him standing alone in their special spot.

She had signed the contact yesterday.

* * *

Sorry if that story wasn't your cup of tea. I think its a little OOC? I'm trying to rid myself of this writers block for my other two stories and this was one of the many ideas I had gotten from a story I had read back in I ever find it, Ill be sure to add it to the description. I left Liam and lieutenant Killian out of this one as well as Graham being the one who saved Snow. I love him and Emma together but I love Captain Swan a bit more. Oh and Milah isn't married to Rumple either. I didn't plan on adding another chapter, but if a lot of you guys want me to, I'll write one.

**Review?**


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